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No wonder he can’t trade anything he needs better props to sell the idea. All serious offers need an element of refrigerator humor, that way the others remember him like the kool-aid man later on and go “Oh Yeaaaaah!”

Farron: I can see you’re a man of refined taste, which is why I have this rubber mallet…Note the construction as I **WHAP** you on the head with my incredibly low prices. (naturally he doesn’t literally whap someone on the head, that would be assault.) All this, and more, could be yours if you can solve the mystery of the magic box. (that way he can at least phish for the information he needs to make an actual sale later on)

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